Goodbye

Author’s Note: I wrote this as an alternate ending for the book, Hate List, by Jennifer Brown. Hate List, is about a girl, Valerie, who made a hate list with her boyfriend and one day her boyfriend, Nick, opened fire on her school and killed many people, specifically targeting people on the hate list they made and then killed himself. The book talks about what happened leading up to that day and Valerie’s life after that day. I wrote this piece to demonstrate voice in my writing.

That emptiness I was left with once I had lost my only friend all year, was grueling. I haven’t felt this low since the aftermath of that wretched day, the day Nick opened fire on all those people, leaving me here to pay the price of his mistake. He left me here to walk these halls, with no friends, and only enemies. And now when someone tries to be my friend, to care about me, I shove them away. I don’t deserve to have a friend, I’m just a waste of space in these halls, and on this earth. I know my father wishes Nick hadn’t missed and hit me in the leg, but blew off my head.  At least ninety percent of the world thinks I deserve to be dead instead of those innocent victims, and I’m starting to believe that too.

I slowly opened my desk drawer, retrieving my pen and my notebook. I began my letter to my mother, my father and anyone else who would listen to what I had to say. Tears filling my eyes I began to write…

Dear, Mom, Dad and Frankie,

I’m sorry, I’ve ruined all your lives. I’m done making you all pay for my mistakes. I know you all wish I could just be the kind of daughter, and sister you all wished I could be. I know now how to prevent my mistakes from affecting your lives. You probably wish I’d just done this before everything happened, before Nick killed all those people and before I ruined your lives, forever making you all the family of that girl who made a list with her boyfriend, and  is responsible for killing all those kids. 

I think you guys should know that I had no idea Nick was going to do that, I don’t know how I missed all the signs, but it still is partially my fault. If I’d never started that stupid list you guys wouldn’t be in this mess with me. And Frankie, I am so sorry for destroying your childhood, you shouldn’t have had to deal with this and for that I’m sorry.

I know there is no way for me to make it up for you all. Mom and Dad, you probably wish you’d never had me, that you’d had an A+ student, who is on student  council and has tons of friend and a great, smart boyfriend who is respectful and never will embarrass you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the daughter you guys deserved.

I don’t expect you two to forgive me, but I’m hoping doing this will keep you from paying for my mistakes.

Goodbye and sorry,

Valerie

Slowly, I reached under my bed and pulled out a black box. Carefully taking the lid off, I reached in and pulled out a shotgun. Shaking , I rested it against my head trying to hold back tears, I took a deep breath and between sobs I uttered , “I’m sorry.” Swiftly, I pulled the trigger, doing what everyone wishes I or Nick had done in the first place, ending the pain I’ve caused my family and the families of the victims. 

Music and Lighting

Author's Note: I wrote this as an analysis of the film for the short story, "A Clean Well-Lighted Place,” by Earnest Hemingway. I analyzed the music used in the film and how it affects the tone and the feelings of the characters and the viewers watching it. I also analyzed the lighting choices and how it affected the interpretation of the film. 

The music in the film for the short story, “A Clean Well-Lighted Place,” did a good job of making you feel how the characters were feeling. In the beginning, the music was really eerie and almost like the music you hear in horror movies. The music in the beginning made you feel scared and afraid, I think the director did this because that’s how the old man and the middle aged waiter were probably feeling at the time when they were alone. Then in bar, the music was really loud and it sounded like an accordion playing. Along with the music there was loud talking and a bunch of conversations between the different groups of people, and there was the middle aged waiter saying a bunch of nonsense words and a prayer but skipping words and saying nada instead. When the director did this it makes you feel really claustrophobic and overwhelmed, which is probably how the middle aged man felt and how the old man would have felt had he been in that situation. At the very end of the film, the middle aged waiter was walking home, but it was completely silent other than the occasional seagull making noise, I think this was done to make the viewer think and feel calm like the man was feeling.  The director’s choice in music and voices did a really good job of making the viewer feel as the characters did.

The lighting in the film also impacted the film a lot and helped tell the story and how the characters were feeling. The dark eerie street view of the cafe and deep grey lighting in the beginning went along with the music and helped create that eerie almost scary scene. Then in the cafe the lighting was very bright and the walls and ceiling were bright, which made it seem like it was day time and made you feel safe and calm. Especially the open set up of the cafe helped create that calm feeling. Once the middle aged waiter got to the bar, the lighting wasn’t as bright as in the cafe but still lighter than it was in the beginning. The lighting was really warm colored and the set up of the bar was really cluttered and there were tables, people and things everywhere. Even the walls were full of pictures and things hanging, which made it feel really cluttered and helped give the overwhelmed, claustrophobic feeling, like how the music made you feel. The lighting at the end of the film, as the middle aged waiter was walking home, was natural daytime light and it gave a sense of relief, and calmness. I think this was meant to make the viewers feel as relieve as that man was that the night was over and now he could relax. That’s how the lighting impacted the story and the film. 

A Clean, Well-Lighted Place

Author's Note: I wrote this as a response to the question, Write a brief analysis of the two waiters.  What do they represent about life? What does the café symbolize, about the short story, "A Clean, Well-litted Place," by Earnest Hemingway. 

 The younger waiter is very impatient and talks about how he just wants to go home and sleep but this old man is still there drinking. Throughout the story he gets more and more mad and impatient, he is saying rude things to and about this old man who is making him stay there as he drinks the night away. While this young waiter is growing more and more impatient the older waiter doesn’t seem to mind that the old man is just sitting there drinking while their waiting on him. It seems as though the old waiter wants the old man to stay as long as he pleases and doesn’t mind being up so late. The young waiter represents impatience and rudeness, because of his attitude towards the old man. The older waiter represents understanding and wisdom, because of how he seems to be more understanding about waiting and how he is standing up for the old man when the younger waiter is being rude. Lastly the café symbolizes a safe place, it seems the older waiter and the old man both use it as a well lit place of peace and an escape. For the old man and the older waiter it is an escape, from insomnia.

Ransom of Red Chief Quote Analysis

Author's Note: I wrote this to analyse the importance of the quote in the short story, "The Ransom of Red Chief." 

The quote, “You bring Johnny home and pay me two hundred and fifty dollars in cash, and I agree to take him off your hands,” is important because it shows the irony in the story. It shows the irony, because the whole point of the kidnapping is to get money from the dad, assuming he would want his son back. The irony of the plan is that in the end, they end up having to pay money for the father to take his son back, because the boy is absolutely obnoxious and a pain in the butt. That’s why the quote is so important to the story.

Representation

Author’s Note: I wrote this essay to demonstrate my knowledge of  analyzing symbolism throughout a text. In this essay I talk about the symbolism throughout the main character, Kaitlin’s, journal entry in the book Scribbler of Dreams, by Mary E. Pearson.

In all writing there is symbolism, whether  we see it or not symbolism is always there and always will be. Just like the book, Scribbler of Dreams, symbolism is everywhere. The novel Scribbler of Dreams is a twist on the classic love story, Romeo and Juliet. In the book the main character Kaitlin Malone meets a boy, Bram Crutchfield, and falls in love with him. She is horrified to find out that his family and her family are enemies, and her dad is the reason his father is dead, and his father is the reason her dad’s in jail. Kaitlin must choose between her true love and her family. The creative journal entry of the main character in Scribbler of Dreams, by Mary E. Pearson, uses an abundance of symbolism throughout. 

In Kaitlin’s creative journal entry, there is an abundance of symbolism. For example when she says, “I cross a black lake with a devouring monster lurking beneath its surface” (111). Black, the color of the lake, represents evil and death. The lake she describes is a representation of death and in her case, what would happen if someone found out her secret. The monster she describes in her writing is  a representation of someone waiting for her and her lies to slip and to reveal her secret that she is trying so hard to keep. In Kaitlin’s writing, she is describing the huge trap she will fall into once her lies fall through and the truth is revealed.

Also in the journal entry, the stones are another example of symbolism throughout Kaitlin’s writing. When she says, “The stones wobble and I prepare to die, but then I regain my balance. The other side of the lake seems so far away,” the stones Kaitlin is writing about symbolize the lies she tells in order to keep her secret. This is so, because she was telling a lot of lies about what she’s doing, and who she’s seeing, to her family and to her boyfriend, Bram. When she says that the stones start to wobble, it signifies her lies starting to fall apart. She somehow manages to keeps the truth hidden, but soon her lies will win and she will fall, revealing the shocking truth of her identity to her boyfriend and her identity of her boyfriend to her family. Throughout the writing there is a lot of symbolism, which creates a lot for the reader to think about. 

Similar to Scribbler of Dreams, the novel  Hate List, by Jennifer Brown has a lot of meaningful symbolism throughout the book. Hate List, is about a girl who made a list of people and concepts she hates with her boyfriend and one day her boyfriend opened fire on the cafeteria, his targets were people on the hate list that they created together. The quote, “So I opened my trusty red notebook and numbered every line down the column of the page an started writing names of people, of celebrities, of concepts, of everything I hated,” (134) is an example of symbolism throughout the book. The color of the notebook containing the hate list in it, red, represents blood and passion, which has a lot to do with the hate list. Mostly because of all the blood that was shed the day of the shooting, but also because of the passion between the main character, Valerie, and her boyfriend, the shooter, Nick. Their passionate hate towards bullies, people and most everything in their lives that they encountered. The symbolism throughout the book, Hate List, is alike to that of the journal entry in, Scribbler of Dreams.

Symbolism in books and stories gives the reader a lot to think about and gives clues to the story and characters that you find through symbolism. The journal entry from the book, Scribbler of Dreams, shows a much deeper meaning through symbolism in Kaitlin’s words. Remember the next time you read a poem, short story, book or even journal entry, think about  the clues to the story and character that are hidden by symbolism.